India / Kerala / Nov 2004

All right, I am Indian, but I am NOT going back to india in the summer. Better still, avoid India except for what is considered to be peak winter in India (Jan/Feb, Mar you are pushing it .. it reverts back to summer temperatures in March magically skipping spring altogether).

You get two choices on the weather in India .. getting 'boiled' or getting 'baked'. If you are used to Tampa / FL, you will do fine in the boiling weather (humidity) .. you should survive Nov, Dec, Jan. If you are from Dallas, try Feb, Mar, Apr. Avoid all other months at all costs and if you value your life (I am assuming I am speaking to snowbirds, which, I unfortunately now have become given 15 years in the US).

Back to the good stuff .. our trip to south india - Kerala !!. I had heard amazing things about this place, however, it was better than all reviews / expectations. It was the small stuff that fascinated me.

This was our itinerary.
- Cochin (2 days)
- Munnar (2 days) We stayed at the Tea County Resort
- Coconut Lagoon (2 days)
- House boat from Allepey to Cochin (2 days).
- Cochin (1 day, back to Bombay).

Cochin was more or less the least interesting. We stayed at Brunton Boatyard (decent hotel .. although smelt constantly of mosquito repellent). This is more a traditional hotel than a 5 star type luxury hotel. You will see this in the decor and atmosphere right away. One interesting thing are the fishing nets. Saw these in operation .. quite efficient.

Getting around Kerala requires renting a tourist vehicle. This is easy enough from any of the larger hotels. A full time driver comes with the vehicle. Ours was 'Bopi', someone who was awesome !! He took very good care of us and was a great safe driver (did not drink or show a hint of any of the scary driving behaviors I would have expected). Remember, you get what you pay for and this is one area you want the safest and most reliable service. Also, your driver will be on a fixed allowance through your journey (which is quite miserable), so do ensure he is eating and sleeping well. The hotels you will stay at will also have some form of accommodation for the drivers. This is usually sub-par and so most will spend the night in the car. You may want to get your driver to rent a room at a smaller hotel for himself as well as give him some money to get a square meal. Remember, a well slept and fed driver will make a safer journey for you.

Munnar is a good 6-8 hrs drive from Cochin. You can stop along the way as you pass through villages etc. Make sure you do as this is the best fun. Along the way, we saw cashew trees, almond trees and several other exotic tropical trees (Bopi turned out to be a horticulturalist) and so stopped to show us some amazing sights such as the protected sandal wood forests.

But, the best thing was .. Rs 20 ($0.40) for 2 pineapples and 2 coconuts. Man .. oh man. Just that makes me want to go right back. Those pineapples cut fresh were to die for. Also, you will be stunned at the color of fresh vegetables that people sell along the roadside. You think carrots are orange ? Wait and see, you will not have seen an orange like that before. It will make you understand what tropical beauty is and the miracles & vibrance of tropical growth. I stopped for roasted peanuts .. these thingys were tiny, microscopic .. not much peanut within each shell. I am used to the American peanuts where the peanut itself was bigger than the entire shell here. Still, when, you eat these Indian peanuts, you will realize that one peanut has got more flavor than an entire bag of American peanuts. Yeah, finally .. size doesn't matter !!

Munar is a tea sanctuary. It is a therapeutic green. You have got to see it to believe it. About 80% of the Indian tea plantations are now owned by Tata. If you know someone at Tata, it may be worthwhile to get permission to visit a plantation. You can however, get your fill by just driving around. The tea plantations are like vineyards in California. Strewn about everywhere. It is however, a much more beautiful sight without the pungent smell of grapes. If you go in the right season, you will be overwhelmed by the smell of tea blossoms.

Do load up on tea when you go to Munnar. The fresh stuff is really better. This is easily bought from the local store in Munnar. There are a number of specialist dealers there, however, you will know which one is the best by just picking the busiest.

Another thing to load up on in Kerala is 'massages'. The place we stayed at was a spa/sanctuary of sorts. This is an ancient art form in kerala and is considered perfectly natural. For me (being a guy), it isnt natural or normal for me at all. Not my sort of thing, however, Jennifer, was in 7th heaven after each session. It was other women giving women a massage ... and other men giving men a massage !

Munnar also has a wild life sanctuary. It is a ride/hike combo. Nothing strenuous at all by American standards. The Indian elephant is a famous sight .. kinda cool, however, the herds are quite a ways away. The bird sanctuary is supposedly amazing, however, we skipped and headed off to Coconut Lagoon.

1/2 day ride and we were there. There was a short ferry ride to take us from the pick-up point to the actual hotel area. This is a very interesting setup. It is basically a set of huts that have water all around them (little islands) trying to emulate the typical kerala backwaters living. It is however, an artificial creation (sound of the pumps). The thing that is amazing here are the sunsets. You can sit in a hammock, drink a beer and watch the sunset. It is peaceful. The food at this place is amazing. All you can do is relax. There is a good bird sanctuary opposite this hotel. Some of the hotel staff also double up as the local ornithologist. I really thought this guy was making it all up.

The house-boat. Aaah. Now this is something worth the entire trip. Includes your own Captain, Chief engineer (who also steers the 50cc engine from behind) and, most importantly, your personal chef !! And what a chef !! This is the guy who can make or break your entire trip. These houseboats are an amazing piece of engineering. 2 bedroom with A/C (make sure this is working else, the mosquitoes will kill you).

This will show you a unique side of India. One that I had never seen either. Kerala backwaters are basically a delicate eco-system of rice paddies separated from the brackish sea water by a system of levees. This has been made into a form of complex canal system. Its weird in that the rice paddies are at a lower level than the water in the canal. I take it that is for irrigation. There is an entire population living in this environment. Accessible only by boat, barely any communication (although, now everyone has a cell-phone), electricity or TV.

The local mode of transportation are 'ferries'. There are no buses or trains here. During your journey, you will find these high-speed boats (no .. not fancy stuff .. just a junk boat travelling at high speed) that will literally come to a screeching halt for exactly 2 seconds, people jump on and off (two classes here - ones that just don't care for their lives and the others that are mortally afraid, however, given up), and the driver then hits the gas almost seamlessly. These are the ferries. It is just amazing that there weren't collisions or people falling off these things.

In the mornings, you will see more of day-to-day life. For example, the headmaster of the school picking up all the little ones from their huts in his row boat.

Back to the food. There is a system here .. these chefs all know each other and know exactly who the good, great and best ones are. You will find yourself an amazing experience if you manage to 'procure' yourself the services of the 'best' cook/chef.

The boats themselves are repetitive although, given nothing much else to do, you will find yourself comparing your own boat in shape / size / complexity with the one just passing you. There are boats and then there are boats. Some of these things are amazing in their engineering.